


The Words

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-02
Updated: 2004-04-02
Packaged: 2018-12-27 13:01:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12081555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian finally tells Justin how he feels.





	The Words

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

One of these days I will know exactly what he thinks about me. He never tells me he loves me but, I know he does. I just need to hear it. Everyone is telling me that I have lost my mind if I think that I am gonna get him to change, but they don’t know the power I have over him. I wish that it was easy for him, I wish I knew why it wasn’t easy for him but, he doesn’t talk about it at all. You know how some people just bring it up and then leave it alone without explaining it, well he isn’t like that. He doesn’t even come close to bringing it up. But, I guess that I will live on because there is no way that I am leaving him again!

Why want he leave it where it is? He knows that I love him but, he wants it in words. I just can’t do that, there is a lot of reasons that I don’t use those words. First of all, words don’t mean anything, it is all in the actions. Second of all, those are straight people words, they use them to let each other know that they want to get into each other’s pants. I don’t need words to let him know that. He just has to ask if I want to get into his pants and I will tell him. I guess I owe him the words but, they are so hard to say. My whole life I thought myself that love was for straight people and that queers don’t fall in love. Well, I kicked myself in the ass when I first met him because that night on Liberty Avenue when I saw him leaning on the street lamp I feel in love with him. But, I can’t tell him that…can I?

He is sitting there like he has something on his mind, it is probably which trick he was going to sleep with tonight. It has been 3 years since I first saw him. That night was one of the best nights. I was just coming down to Liberty Avenue, I got Daphne to drop me off, and I was standing there under the street lamp and he came walking up to me and took me to the loft. I feel in love with him the first moment I layed eyes on him. I knew that I was gonna have to do some sacrificing to be with him. I didn’t realize at the time that I would of sacrificed my dad and the power to use my right hand for about 4 months. But, that is all in the past now. Me and him are together and that is all that matters.

I think I am gonna do it tonight, I am gonna open my heart up and tell him how I feel. I am gonna try my best. I don’t know if I am gonna be able to or not, I mean I don’t want to loose him again. So, I will do anything that will keep him with me. So, I looked at him and told him that I was going to the loft and he said that he was going to stay there for a little bit longer and then he would be home. Good, that will give me enough time to think about what I am gonna say and give me enough time to set everything up.

He said that he was going to got to the loft I wasn’t ready to go yet so, I stayed. I wonder why he is leaving so soon. I try not to think about it much and try to concentrate on dancing but, it doesn’t work, he want get out of my head. It is bad enough that he is all that I think about when I am at work and while I am at school, but not that I am trying to dance my worried away he want get out of my head. I guess I want worry about it and just dance.

As I was setting the bedroom up I wondered what he was going to do and say. I wonder if he is just gonna sit and listen to me. I wonder if he is gonna laugh at me and tell me that I am full of shit. Naw he would never laugh at me. He hasn’t ever laughed at me before unless I gave him a reason. There, everything is set up now all I have to do is sit here think and wait for him to get home.

It was boring with out him here so, after a couple of dances and a couple of drinks with the boys I decided to go back to the loft. He was probably asleep or working on one of his projects. So, when I reached the door I opened it with ease so that I wouldn’t bother him. When I opened the door I thought I was going to pass out. Everything was lighted by candles and he was no where to be seen. So, I walked up the stairs to the bedroom and there he was fully dressed and laying on the bed.

When I heard the loft door ease open my heart skipped a couple of beats. I knew that it was going to happen now. He was going to have to let him know everything that he had been holding in for these 3 years. He was going to tell him about how much he loved him and he was going to tell him about everything. When he saw the beautiful blonde walk up the steps into the bedroom and saw the look on his face. The look was of surprise and excitement, he almost backed out then and almost reached out to the young man and held him close for the rest of the night. But, he didn’t, he had to tell him everything before he lost him all over again.

“Brian, what is all of this? Did you get a promotion or something? Wow everything is so beautiful!!” Justin tried not to act like a little child but, it was all to much to consume.  
“No Justin, I didn’t get a promotion. I need to talk to you about some stuff. So, sit down and listen.”  
“Alright, Brian is everything alright?”  
“Yes, everything is alright, I promise. Now I want to tell you some things that I should of told you that day that you told me that you where going to leave me for Ethan, but I was an ass and didn’t realize what I was letting leave me until it was to late. Alright?”  
“Alright.” Was all Justin said so Brian kept on going.  
“Now, of course you should of figured out that I didn’t want you to leave with him that night and I blame myself totally. I should of told you how much I cared and loved you but, I was scared I guess. So here goes, I don’t want to go through that again. I was an emotional wreck that night and for the longest time after that. I realized the first moment that I feel in love with you. It made me realize that I can’t live life with out you. It also made me realize that I wanted you back. Which I have you back now and there isn’t anything in this world that is going to take you from me again. I want you in my bed every night, I don’t want to be with anyone else. I am done with tricking, I don’t want it in my life anymore. Justin, I love you. I love you with all of my heart and I am not going to let a moment go by that you want know that. I wish that I could express all the feelings that I have for you but, there isn’t enough words. I am sorry for all of the pain that I have caused for you. I know that you have forgave me over and over again but, I hope that none of it has caused so much pain that will you will never be able to forgive me. I just love you so much. And I wanted to let you know that.” When I finally got done I saw that Justin had tears in his eyes. I was totally shocked. What where these tears for?

Ok I must admit that that wasn’t what I was expecting. Brian just opened his heart to me and all I could do was sit there and stare at him. I could tell that he was worried about what I was going to say to him after he got done. So, I did all I could bring my body to do. I leaned into him and told that I loved him also and I kissed him. The kiss was long a passionate kiss. And then we made love.

YES!!!!!! I feel so much better. I thought I was going to die sitting there waiting for Justin to react so, when he did we made love and then fell asleep in each other’s arms.


End file.
